{"id":2222,"date":"2025-11-27T18:21:08","date_gmt":"2025-11-27T17:21:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/master-crdm.parisnanterre.fr\/blacksheep\/?p=2222"},"modified":"2025-12-16T19:42:03","modified_gmt":"2025-12-16T18:42:03","slug":"debout-bande-de-flemmards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/master-crdm.parisnanterre.fr\/blacksheep\/debout-bande-de-flemmards\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00ab Debout bande de flemmards ! \u00bb"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Par Maxime\u00a0 Landais<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\u00a9 Maxime Landais – Si\u00e8ge de l’Agence Nationale de S\u00e9curit\u00e9 Sanitaire<\/span><\/p>\n<\/figure>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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C\u2019est officiel : l\u2019Agence nationale de s\u00e9curit\u00e9 sanitaire vient de nous apprendre qu\u2019il faut se lever et marcher trois \u00e0 cinq minutes toutes les trente minutes pour pr\u00e9server sa sant\u00e9. Oui, trois minutes de marche, sinon c\u2019est l\u2019ost\u00e9oporose qui vous guette.<\/span><\/p>\n

Alors \u00e9videmment, sur le papier, c\u2019est tr\u00e8s bien. Mais dans la vraie vie, on fait comment ? S\u00e9rieux ! Imaginez un peu : en plein op\u00e9ra de Carmen, au moment o\u00f9 la Soprano entonne son grand air, une partie de la salle se l\u00e8ve d\u2019un seul coup pour faire trois tours de l\u2019Op\u00e9ra Bastille. Un peu chelou\u2026 <\/span>Ou encore \u00e0 l\u2019<\/span>Assembl\u00e9e nationale<\/a>, <\/span>entre deux d\u00e9bats sur le budget, les d\u00e9put\u00e9s se l\u00e8vent et font le tour de l\u2019H\u00e9micycle pour une \u00ab pause sant\u00e9 \u00bb. Et encore, eux, ils ont de l\u2019entra\u00eenement. Entre les diff\u00e9rents remaniements minist\u00e9riels, et le classique jeu des chaises musicales, on ne s\u2019inqui\u00e8te pas trop pour eux. \u00c0 ce rythme, le gouvernement, c\u2019est d\u00e9j\u00e0 un cours de cardio collectif. <\/span><\/p>

Bon, sauf Rachida Dati et G\u00e9rald Darmanin, eux, on ne sait pas s\u2019ils ont \u00e9t\u00e9 coll\u00e9s avec de la superglue ou b\u00e9nis par la Sainte-Chaise, mais ils tiennent bon. On les imagine, sto\u00efques, accroch\u00e9s \u00e0 leur fauteuil pendant que tout le reste du gouvernement fait des tours de table \u00e0 120 battements par minute.<\/span><\/p>

Bref, cette recommandation de l\u2019Agence nationale de s\u00e9curit\u00e9 sanitaire, c\u2019est un peu comme les bonnes r\u00e9solutions : tout le monde est d\u2019accord, mais personne ne sait comment les caser entre le boulot, Netflix et le besoin vital de ne rien faire.<\/span><\/p>

Et le plus ironique, c\u2019est que certains avaient tout compris bien avant tout le monde : les croyants. Oui, qu\u2019ils soient cathos ou musulmans, pendant la pri\u00e8re, ils alternent d\u00e9j\u00e0 debout, assis, accroupi, prostern\u00e9. C\u2019est la pri\u00e8re version yoga. <\/span><\/p>

Bref : bougeons, marchons ! Et si un ministre passe par l\u00e0, qu\u2019il sache que lui aussi a le droit \u00e0 sa pause sant\u00e9\u2026 m\u00eame si, le plus souvent, dans son cas, se lever, c\u2019est risquer de ne plus retrouver sa chaise.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/figure>\n

<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Par Maxime\u00a0 Landais \u00a9 Maxime Landais – Si\u00e8ge de l’Agence Nationale de S\u00e9curit\u00e9 Sanitaire C\u2019est officiel : l\u2019Agence nationale de s\u00e9curit\u00e9 sanitaire vient de nous apprendre qu\u2019il faut se lever et marcher trois \u00e0 cinq minutes toutes les trente minutes pour pr\u00e9server sa sant\u00e9. Oui, trois minutes de marche, sinon c\u2019est l\u2019ost\u00e9oporose qui vous guette. Alors […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":2223,"comment_status":"close","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2222","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-edition-2026"],"yoast_head":"\n\u00ab Debout bande de flemmards ! \u00bb - Black Sheep<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/master-crdm.parisnanterre.fr\/blacksheep\/debout-bande-de-flemmards\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u00ab Debout bande de flemmards ! \u00bb - Black Sheep\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Par Maxime\u00a0 Landais \u00a9 Maxime Landais – Si\u00e8ge de l’Agence Nationale de S\u00e9curit\u00e9 Sanitaire C\u2019est officiel : l\u2019Agence nationale de s\u00e9curit\u00e9 sanitaire vient de nous apprendre qu\u2019il faut se lever et marcher trois \u00e0 cinq minutes toutes les trente minutes pour pr\u00e9server sa sant\u00e9. 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